Friday, August 17, 2012

Letting It Go

Thank goodness for this blog.  I tell ya, it's like therapy......a good way for me to get it out and move on.
I had a very bad experience earlier this week at Beckett's allergist appointment, and I need to unload for a minute.

I first wrote this post and bashed the practice and the Doctor, but have since deleted names because things happen and people act stupid!  I can't explain why people act like a$$holes sometimes, or if it's a characteristic they were just born with, but I'm giving this guy the benefit of the doubt and not publishing his name or practice in this post.  HOWEVER, if your child has an allergist appointment in the Columbia area anytime soon, contact me and I'll tell you who NOT to go see!

First off, just let me say I KNOW my child is not perfect.  FAR from!  However, there are certain times when you are unable to console your child and make them behave exactly the way you want them to.

Anyway, on with it....
This was our 3rd trip to the allergist. Our first visit went relatively well.
Beckett isn't usually happy at the doctors office, mainly because he's been through a lot this year.  An ER visit, plenty of rosefin shots, IVs, etc.....he knows that when someone puts on gloves, needles may follow.....I'd hate the doc too if I thought that every time I went, I was going to hurt.

On the first visit, Dr. "Rude" met with us and questioned me about Beckett's reaction to certain allergens, etc.  I had my mom with me for support (when I can, I take her with me to referee and entertain B so that I don't miss what the Doc has to say....).  After extensive questions, I felt very good that we were having Beckett tested and that we might be able to pinpoint what was stirring up his skin irritations and sinus issues.  We were coached on how to use an epi pen and I was pleased with how thorough this doctor was and took his time.  Upon leaving, he asked that I make an appointment for his first round of testing on a day when he was in the office.

About 2 weeks ago, my mom and I took him for his first round of testing.  It's not necessarily painful, but uncomfortable.  If you aren't aware how they test for allergies, I'll include THIS LINK for you to understand what was involved.  Holding a 21 month old down and keeping him still while this procedure is done isn't easy.  The testing took about 45 minutes and we were told we could go home.  I assumed that we would meet with the Dr. again, since he asked that we make the appointment on a day when he was in the office...... evidently not.

Wednesday we went for the second round.  After sustaining a wiggling, crying child and holding him down for 20 minutes, we are ushered in to see the Dr.  The exam room has a few toys, some of which make noise.  The Dr. walked in to see us, sat down, made no acknowledgment that my child was even in the room, who was quietly playing on the tile floor.  Beckett looked up at him and went back to playing with a fisher-price phone, making pretend calls and talking to people.  I was pleased he wasn't crying or screaming and that he was playing by himself so that I could talk with the Doctor about his testing and the results. Only about two sentences into his explanation of test results, Beckett ACCIDENTALLY drops the toy phone on the tile floor and it makes a loud noise.

THIS is where things go downhill pretty fast:

In reaction to the loud noise, Dr. "Rude" turns to my son, and in a stern, angry voice, says "STOP that!", and then, he turns to ME and says, "You need to make him STOP that!  I have a TERRIBLE headache!"
This is the point where I turn into Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women.....
Now, I've had my fair share of headaches, bad days, and times when I've been in a store and a child yells, or screams, or does something I think is aggravating.  There have been times when I've wanted to ask the parent why they felt the need to bring a screaming toddler into a clothing store and let them run wild.  Like I said, my child is FAR from perfect.  He throws tantrums and can show his behind when he wants to......but this wasn't one of those times.  He's also been know to throw things, but he didn't.  He dropped the toy phone and that was all.

I also have to admit that before becoming a parent, I've always been impatient and lose my temper at times.  (I know lots of you are nodding in agreement if you know me well....)  I have bad days too and can get upset with my own child when he acts badly.  That's what sets this experience aside from the others.  He was doing nothing wrong.  He was being a toddler and playing on a tile floor with toys that were placed there to keep them occupied.

I have never been so angry with a doctor before.  I left my job early to bring my child in, who is suffering from allergic reactions, who hasn't had allergy meds in days, who was repeatedly poked and prodded and then asked to sit quietly while I talk with the doctor for 20 minutes?  I don't know many children his age that wouldn't make some noise unintentionally.

I struggle every day with the fact that I might not be disciplining my child correctly.  Usually, in situations where he doesn't know the people around him, he's quite shy.  I find it very disheartening that there are so many doctors that have absolutely no bedside manner at all.  That is why I love our pediatrician, Dr. Cope.  He's taken care of Beckett since he's been born, never once laughed at me for bringing him in with a slight cold or made me think I was overreacting.  He's talked over Beckett's crying, patted him on the leg, and asked for high fives to calm him down, all while B snubbed through crocodile tears.

Men like Dr. "Rude" should only be allowed to treat adults.  No matter how large of a headache he had, it did not warrant his outburst at my child or myself.

I've never wanted to get up and flee an office so fast in my life.  After I asked him if he had children (or grandchildren) of his own, and informed him of his rudeness and lack of bedside manner, I asked that he get on with our visit and quickly explain the results to me so that we could leave!

As he finished his explanations and questions, he then had the nerve to tell Beckett to pick up the two toys on the floor he had been playing with and put them away.  Normally, I ask my child to put toys up he's been playing with, but not that day.....that day I picked him up and ran out of that office as fast as I could.....and proceeded to cry all the way home.

For those of you who I said good things about this allergist to,  I revoke my recommendation!

Aaaaaaaand, if you don't know what I'm talking about with the Julia Sugarbaker reference, well, here's a little taste of one of her most famous rants on one of the BEST sitcoms on television!
Watching this just puts a big 'ole smile on my face!

Happy Weekend Everyone. 
I'm letting it go and moving on! 


  1. That is horrible! Good for you for calling him out! WOW, seriously unbelievable.

    1. I guess my mama bear instincts kicked in! It WAS unbelievable!

  2. You know my thoughts! I CANNOT stand someone being ugly to my kids or someone getting on to them, makes my heart hurt!!! Can't wait for baby boy hopefully grow out of all his allergies!! xoxo

  3. Hi Katie, I just stumbled upon your blog this weekend and I absolutely love it!

    I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your experience with this doctor. We've been through all the allergy testing, myself included, and it is traumatic. I work for a large practice of doctors in orthopedics and know very well what you expereinced. Some doctors are just a$$holes and I think it's great that you put him in his place!! We stopped seeing a pediatrician years ago for a very similar situation.

    My boys are big now, 16 and a 21 yr-old Marine, but I would still go "Julia Sugarbaker" on anybody that messed with them too!

    1. Hi Jackie!
      Thanks for the sweet comment!

      I'm 32 and still my mama's baby, and SHE'D go "Julia Sugarbaker" on someone if they messed with me NOW!!

      No matter what age they are, they're still your babies, right?!